ALL STUPID JOKES

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. ...

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily ...

Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them spots a lamp floating by. He picks it up and a genie pops out. ...

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said,
"Last night we ...

Lem: "I got fired from my job as a bank guard."
Clem: "That's awful. What happened?"
Lem: "Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, ...

Three older ladies were discussing the problems of getting older.
One declares, "Sometimes I catch myself in front of the refrigerator with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, and for a brief moment ...

1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and re fold a road map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub ...

You Need To Have A Bad Day To Get Into Heaven

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was ...

There were three people stranded on an island a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated it was about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, ...

A college student wrote a letter home, "Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body ...

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? ...

This is too funny! It takes all kinds to make the world go round. Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is easy to see happening, customer service being what it is....
My ...

A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke
division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead
second. The ...

An Irish guy goes into a bar in America and asks for three separate shots of Whiskey. He drinks one, waits a little bit, then drinks the second one, waits a little bit more, and then drinks the third ...